Often I am baffled by why so many men find it challenging to commit to a relationship. There is so much to be said about the innate joy and exquisite thrill that comes with creating something with a person. When done right, or even a little wrong, there is such great potential for so much growth.

I have been told by countless friends and books and gurus that in order to welcome a mate that desires what you do from a relationship {or one at all for that matter} you must be ruthless in your strategy and in your dealings with others. If you are entertaining the idea of having fun flings or breezy romances then you are sending the wrong signals and attracting people who are not in alignment with your hearts truer desire. If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is see-sawing and not being completely clear with what they want or if you find yourself minimizing what you want in order to please the other than it is time to reevaluate how you are being and what you are allowing.

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The relationships in my life seem to have a push-pull quality to them. It is a bit of a dance where I pull my partner towards me. Often I am ripe with optimism and a healthy excitement. I can feel the essence of potential brimming and interlacing itself between us. I see us gradually making our way into an evolved, healthy, grounded partnership. They take shape in many forms; family bonds, friends, colleagues, or romantic partners.

And then what usually occurs in a relationship that I am deliberately being intentional with is a gradual and sometimes immediate and deliberate deconstruction of that vision. I seem to have a land mine worker camouflaged as myself that dons a hard hat with a flashlight seeking all possible opportunities for something wonderful and innocent so that it can tuck away explosives. The flashlight casts shadows of the past and murks my view of this relationship in the present. The destruction ensues. The fear kicks in. Read more