Quite often the parts of our self that we abandon and neglect the most are what need the most attention and love in order for our lives, our relationships to truly flourish. The shadow parts of us are what need most attention because when ignored they are what hinder us from being fully present to life.
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Myrna's Posts
Often the taunt of insecurity is irrepressible. It is quiet and mundane but powerful and pervasive, coloring and distorting your world.
We get a sudden thought that something looks ugly on us...that dress, that hair style, that face at 7:15 in the morning and we may feel a tinge of sadness at the thought of our inner grouch and maybe go into a tail spin on how we need to perhaps do several affirmations, cuddle our selves in the mirror, or repeat a mantra to break this momentary spell....but the truth is is that it was only a flash thought and the bigger truth is maybe we really do look ugly but that doesn't comprise how we see ourselves as a whole. As we begin to examine the insecure thoughts that flash across like pompous five year olds, we will soon realize that many of the thoughts we feel plagued by are not only based on false truths but we actually do not believe them but go on getting hooked into a feeling of despair because of the depressing energy it comes attached to.
I attended Christian's latest retreat in Novato, California. I made sure to roll up and tuck into the corners of my luggage all my intentions for creating a dynamic, lush weekend.
I knew what I wanted to get out of this retreat. I knew I wanted to heal whatever was getting in the way of me forming a healthy, committed partnership with a man and I knew I wanted to dig as deeply as necessary to find the albatross that was encumbering my trail to him and release it once and for all.
And so, off I went with my light carry-on luggage filled with aspirations and cotton cardigans.
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When we put forth the intention to create something in our life, to call it forth, what will happen as default are a few different things:
The Universe will conjure all the strongest energies in our space and will attract them to us, their rhythms vibrating to the beat of that desire, in order to help define and flush out that creation.
We will experience as part of the process of manifesting that desire, experiences and interactions with others that provoke feelings like frustration, disdain, annoyance.
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There is much to be said about being in love. And so much more to be said of the exquisite feelings and intense joy that seems to illuminate all corners of life when you are in love. There is an effervescent quality, a sort of dewy beauty that coats everything. There is so much talk about reversing age lines and discovering the next amazing product to help us look younger. The truth is when you are deeply in love with yourself, your life, and your partner, you radiate health and beauty and youth quite naturally.
But what is intriguing to me is that with this fantastic, magical thing we know to be love, comes a craft, an art that I am certain will only die when the sun stops shining. This finely honed craft is the skill of seduction, of courting, of beckoning forth a new wonderful love interest.
Often I am baffled by why so many men find it challenging to commit to a relationship. There is so much to be said about the innate joy and exquisite thrill that comes with creating something with a person. When done right, or even a little wrong, there is such great potential for so much growth.
I have been told by countless friends and books and gurus that in order to welcome a mate that desires what you do from a relationship {or one at all for that matter} you must be ruthless in your strategy and in your dealings with others. If you are entertaining the idea of having fun flings or breezy romances then you are sending the wrong signals and attracting people who are not in alignment with your hearts truer desire. If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is see-sawing and not being completely clear with what they want or if you find yourself minimizing what you want in order to please the other than it is time to reevaluate how you are being and what you are allowing.
In the previous blog, I discussed how the main issue that seems to erode relationships is a lack of self-love and of not having created a healthy relationship with yourself first and foremost before venturing into a relationship with someone else on an intimate level.
Unfortunately this is common because it is not reinforced at home when we are growing up, we do not observe it on a consistent basis with our parents and friends, and in school we are taught things such as arithmetic and historical stories that have no significant impact on helping us create balanced, emotionally mature lives.
The relationships in my life seem to have a push-pull quality to them. It is a bit of a dance where I pull my partner towards me. Often I am ripe with optimism and a healthy excitement. I can feel the essence of potential brimming and interlacing itself between us. I see us gradually making our way into an evolved, healthy, grounded partnership. They take shape in many forms; family bonds, friends, colleagues, or romantic partners.
And then what usually occurs in a relationship that I am deliberately being intentional with is a gradual and sometimes immediate and deliberate deconstruction of that vision. I seem to have a land mine worker camouflaged as myself that dons a hard hat with a flashlight seeking all possible opportunities for something wonderful and innocent so that it can tuck away explosives. The flashlight casts shadows of the past and murks my view of this relationship in the present. The destruction ensues. The fear kicks in. Read more
My name is Myrna De Jesus and I met Christian about 7 years ago in New York City when I attended an Embracing Change gathering.
I have always felt a strong affinity for his work since I had such powerful breakthroughs during the two retreats I attended. And he has had an affinity for my style of writing and thus we have decided to merge our forces. I am delighted to be a guest contributor to this blog and during such a pivotal time in my life. Read more
